The Other Shoe
by Emeline Pigott
Summary: Trevor&Roxy. They never used to fight, and now, anytime they talked, all they did was fight.
1. Chapter 1

_Troxy. They never used to fight, and now, anytime they talked, all they did was fight._

_**The Other Shoe**_

**-1-**

She had thought that now that Betty was gone--as much as she'd miss her--maybe it would get better. Maybe things with Trevor, things between them would be less awkward, less cramped, and more like it had been before. But it wasn't. _God_, it was so far from being better, if anything, it was like--like everything was slowly unraveling.

They never used to not talk, and now that was all they did.

"_Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, cautious with her words. _

_Trevor had been so distant, so unattached lately, she hated to say anything to push him even farther away. She just wished she could help him. _

"_Nothing to talk about." Trevor responded, his tone flat, as he dropped his cup into the sink, and walked away without another word. She'd never understand, she couldn't, and he didn't want her to understand._

They never used to fight, and now, anytime they talked, all they did was fight.

He was different. So different, and she could handle that. She could handle that her husband had changed because she loved him, she loved Trevor more than she'd ever loved another man, but she couldn't handle her husband not talking to her. She just wanted to try and get things back to normal, or at least as normal as they could get before he was gone again, but how could they ever when he didn't want to talk to her. How could she help him, if she didn't know what the problem was, if she didn't know what was going on inside his head.

Her entire life she'd always fought the problem head on, but this was one she couldn't and it made her feel helpless. She felt more helpless now that Trevor was back than she even did when he was in Iraq. At least then she knew even though he was away, he would be coming back to her; now her husband was right next to her and even farther away than he'd ever been.

"Trevor, you told me. You looked me in the eyes and promised me," Roxy paused, trying to-to-_goddamn_! She didn't know what in the hell was what anymore. "You promised me that you were going to come back to me."

Was it so bad to want to have things back to the way they had been? To have her life back? To just want to live their lives; her, Trevor, and TJ and Finn. What was so wrong about wanting that back?

"What? God, Roxy what are you even talking about? I'm here, I'm back."

That was the problem after all, wasn't it? He was here, home with his beautiful, gorgeous wife, and his kids, his children who he loved and would lay his life down for all three of them, and all he knew was that he shouldn't be. He didn't want to be.

He didn't even understand that, and realizing it pissed him off. All he wanted when he was away was to be with them. To just be able to hold his wife and tell her how much he loved her, and to spend time with he boys. Take them to the beach, teach Finn how to catch so he could join the softball team, to help TJ with his batting, just be their dad. And it was hard, it was so damn hard, because every time…he felt like he was betraying his unit, his brothers, that he should be with them, fighting.

That didn't make it any less confusing. Roxy and the boys, they were his everything. The only thing he could think of was just wanting to see them all one more time. Just one more 'I love you'…just one more of everything. But now he had it, and as badly as he wanted everything to go back to normal, it couldn't and he couldn't explain it all to her. Maybe in the beginning he would have tried, but Marda's words were still stuck in his head, every time he considered trying to explain it to her. She'd never come around to understanding you wanting to leave her. So, you'd do well to keep that to yourself.

"Trevor its just, I don't get it. I don't. Since when do we not talk? Why can't you talk to me about what's bothering you? It's like I don't even know you anymore."

"I'd really, rather not do this now Rox. Really, there is nothing to talk about."

"Well, I really think there is. I'm worried about you . I…" Roxy stopped there, pausing, since when had just talking to each other became so hard? She just took a deep breath and bit the bullet. "Trevor, I was talking to Roland and I was thinking, if you can't talk to me, maybe you can talk to him. He's more experienced with this kind of thing--"

"Rox. Rox, what--what in the hell are you talking about?" He was trying to be patient, he was trying really god damn hard to be patient but he thought she knew better than that, she couldn't just go off and talk to his C.O.'s husband about them. About him. All she had to do was tell him the wrong thing, and if it got back to the Colonel, that could be the end of his career. "What kind of thing?"

"Whatever it is that you're dealing with, or carrying around that had made things like this. Made it so you can't even talk to me. Your wife."

Trevor scrubbed his hand over his face, trying, trying very hard to understand her. "Jesus, Roxy, what. What exactly did you tell him?"

"That maybe you're not you anymore, Trevor. Maybe you should talk to him, Roland's pretty good with this kind of stuff." She had come this far, what was the point of backing down now? It was more than time to get it all out into the open. "Maybe you're exhibiting some signs of post traumatic disorder."

"God. Roxy, really," Trevor shook his head in disbelief working really hard to stay calm. "What in the world were you thinking? He's not just your friend, that is my commanding officer's husband. If he so much as gives her the word, I could be out of the paratrooper program, out of the Army."

"It was a private conversation Trevor, and I only talked to him because I'm really worried about you. About us. I just thought that if maybe you talk to someone, even if that someone isn't me, things can go back to the way they were. Because sometimes--sometimes its like I don't even know you anymore, and I'm scared, okay?"

His face was blank, expressionless, and she wasn't sure if he was angry…or if he completely ignored what she had said all together. It felt that way sometimes, she'd be talking about something, anything, it didn't really matter what…and she'd turn to him to ask his opinion, or input, or something little like asking him to give the boys a bath, and he'd have no idea what she'd been talking about at all. It was like as soon as she talked, he tuned her out, he was right next to here and not there at all. And that was not the man she married. The man she married was gentle, quiet, thoughtful, sometimes shy, and the most loving, attentive man she knew-that she'd ever known.

"Trevor?"

He was silent, angry, he couldn't believe what she had done. Nothing was wrong, couldn't she understand that? Had she even been thinking when she started in on Roland Burton with all her ideas about him suffering from PTSD. He knew guys that it had happened to, but it just wasn't him. He wasn't beating his wife, he wasn't not showing up when he was supposed to, he wasn't drinking and abusing drugs, he was doing his job--or at least the part of his job that he could do.

"Trevor, please, just talk to him. He even made an opening, he said he can see you to talk today at three if you'd like, and that if today's not good, he has another opening tomorrow."

"Why did you do that, Roxy? For god's sake," His tone was rising steadily and she wondered if he even noticed. Trevor had never yelled before, and now…he was always just angry, disinterested; she wasn't sure which was worse.

"I was worried about you! Okay, I was worried about my husband." Roxy was relieved that the boys were off playing with the Pamela's kids because there had been enough arguing without them listening to this. "Except anymore, its like you just aren't. You are such a different person anymore, I feel like I don't know you at all."

"Trevor please do this," She begged, grabbing the chance while he was still silent. "Do it for me, do it for the boys, god! Do this for us! Because I don't know you anymore, and it scares the hell out of me."

"Then maybe you're right!" Trevor told her, his voice rising significantly, and not caring, not caring at all.

"Trevor, what--what are you talking about?" Roxy asked, her blood running cold at both the tone, and the words. This was not how it was supposed to go, not at all.

"Maybe we didn't know each other at all. Maybe this was all a big mistake. Maybe you're right and we don't really know each other at all." Without another glance in her direction, Trevor spun out on his heel and walked out, the screen door slamming shut, clanging, behind him.

It wasn't until she heard the slam to a close did it hit her. They were fighting, and he was walking out, and everything that was said came crashing down on her.Maybe we didn't know each other at all.

Maybe this was all a big mistake.

Maybe we don't really know each other at all."Oh god," Her words were a murmured prayer, followed by an onslaught of tears. Her entire world was falling apart.

Trevor had never walked out before, they'd fought plenty since he'd gotten back but not like this, never like this.

She felt like someone had been standing over her happiness all this time, just waiting with a hammer and now they dropped it, shattering her happy life into a bunch of little pieces.

Trevor was walking way, and she was crying, and she could feel her heart breaking.

Now, the other shoe finally fell. Everything was broken into so many pieces, unable to ever be mended.

It was over.

It was all just barely beginning to sink in when she heard the rapping sound of someone knocking away at the front door.

Pamela. And the boys.

Time to pull things back together. Pull herself back together. She'd made a life out of bouncing back from bad situations, from taking the pieces and just putting them back together. This wasn't different at all.

Except it was, because no matter how much it hurt., no matter how much she told herself it was the same as any other time, it just wasn't. She loved Trevor, she loved him so much, she had really pictured growing old with him, living a life with him. How was she supposed to just forget it all and throw it all behind her?

She dried her eyes and did her best to straighten herself out before answering the door. She put a smile on, praying to god that her kids would be oblivious.

"Roxy." Pamela immediately saw through the act. She knew the game face better than most, she had spent a good portion of her marriage playing the game face. She turned to the kids. "Go outside to play guys, it's grownup time."


	2. Chapter 2

**The Other Shoe**

**-2-**

"Don't worry guys," Lucas told TJ and Finn.

Both were worried about all the fighting their mom and dad had been doing and so they did what they did best: powwowed with their friends to try and figure it out.

"Whenever our dad comes back after being away from home for a long time, he and our mom fight all the time but then they stop, and things go back to normal. It'll be the same with your mom and dad too." Lucas continued, looking to his sister for support. "Right Katie?"

Katie shrugged. "Uh huh." she nodded her head rather unconvincingly.

"What?" TJ asked her nervously, he had heard his parents fight and he hated it. It worried him, what if they got divorced and they never got to see their dad again, and had to leave post and go back to Alabama and the way it had been before. He didn't want that, and he knew Finn didn't either. Things were so perfect now, they had a dad who loved them, and their mom was so happy--happier than he'd ever seen her.

"Well, it doesn't even matter, your parents'll be fine TJ."

"What are you talking about?" TJ asked her, after all, her parents had been married for almost forever, she would know all about it.

Katie was uncomfortable, "Let's just play…You guys want to play softball? We can practice for the game on Saturday." she suggested, hoping to change the subject.

"Katie." TJ was insistent, "C'mon, what are you talking about?"

"Sometimes they fight and don't make up. Like Elisabeth at school, her dad came back from the war and now she and her mom are moving to California." Katie threw it out there quick, it was like the quicker she said it, the quicker it could be done with and they could just pretend it was done with.

"Just like that?" TJ asked. He knew Elisabeth, she was on their softball team. "How can it just end like that?"

Katie shrugged, "It just does." she quickly smiled though, changing the subject. "Don't be silly though TJ, its not like it would happen to your mom and dad."

"Yeah," Lucas agreed with his sister. "Your mom and dad really like each other. They kiss all the time and stuff like that."

TJ just nodded his head, ignoring the look Finn was giving him. Not anymore. Lucas was right, they always used to be doing that lovey stuff, but not anymore. He and Finn heard them fighting last night, and the night before, and maybe it was like with Elisabeth.

They couldn't let it be though, he decided, they just couldn't.

--

Pamela handed Roxy the box of tissues she'd found in the bathroom.

"Roxy talk to me," She asked her friend. She saw Trevor rush out, and she wondered if the fighting was worse than her friend had let on. She figured it must be, Roxy was always so insistent on being independent and taking care of things herself. "What's going on? I saw Trevor hurrying out of here on our way in…is everything okay?"

"I don't know." She felt herself falling apart and just didn't know how to pull herself together. It didn't matter though, she was going to have to. No matter how much it hurt, she had to pull things together for TJ and Finn. "Pamela, this entire thing…its such a mess. A complete mess. I think I made a mistake with this, with all of it."

Pamela was confused, what was a mistake? …The fight maybe?

"Hey, we all fight. This is a stressful time, Roxy, but if anyone can get through some hard times its you and Trevor."

Roxy shook her head and leaned back, sinking into the couch, every word replaying in her mind. "I don't know. Maybe we can't…"

"Roxy, you're not really saying…you're not really thinking that this is it, do you?"

"I have never seen him that angry, Pamela. Ever. I mean, the both of us, we've said things…"

Pamela broke in. "So what? You think Chase and I haven't said some less than nice things over the course of our marriage? Marriage is hard Roxy, its messy, things get said you wish you didn't say, but you'll get past them. You apologize, and you remember why you got up there and said 'I do' and you move on."

"I told him I went to Roland." She explained, trying desperately to get a hold of herself. She had so much to do, she had a dinner to make, she needed to call the delivery guys and make sure everything was in order for the furniture moving at the bar next week…

Pamela nodded her head, she knew about that part.

"He didn't take to the idea of talking to a psychiatrist very well." She wasn't surprised, career guys looked at that as the end of their career. No one wanted to be slapped with a defect label.

"He was so mad, he was furious, really. He told me I could have ruined his career, that if Roland talked to Joan about everything…it could ruin his career."

Pamela nodded her head. "He's partly right. A diagnosis of PTSD could make moving up the ladder difficult. Look at Joan, it nearly ruined her Army career."

"I told him it was like I didn't know him anymore, I begged him to talk to Roland, try and sort things out…it was like he snapped. He was yelling, we both were, and he just admitted it."

"Admitted what?"

"He said maybe I was right, maybe we didn't know each other. That maybe it was all a big mistake." Roxy felt a chill run through her body as she remembered it all, remembered the look on his face; serious, the tone of his voice; angry. "Everything is falling apart so fast."

Pamela wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her. "It's going to turn out okay Roxy, in the end…it always does. You can't really think he means it. I've seen the way that Trevor looks at you, like the sun and the moon revolve around you."

"I don't think it was like that. It was so final…just the tone in his voice." like he wasn't in love anymore, Roxy added silently.

"We all have those moments Roxy. It's what marriage is about, you fight and you make up. It's just how it works."

Roxy sighed, throwing the tissues down on the table. "Maybe." She said, unable to convince even herself.When he walked out that door, she felt her heart break into a million pieces, and something about it told her, she'd lost him.

--

He came back, but they didn't talk. Almost a week passed with barely no talking. They lived in virtual silence, sometimes speaking through the boys, but it was avoidance of the worst sort. He wouldn't come to the bedroom, at least not when she home, Roxy knew that. She sometimes heard the murmur of the TV late into the night, and she wondered, how long could they go on like this?

If there was anyway to fix them, she would be there, but how could they ever fix it when they couldn't even look at each other anymore, never mind talk to one another.

Both of the boys could feel the tension. At night, they talked about it and TJ couldn't help but to be frustrated that Finn didn't get how important this was. How important it was that they fix their parents.

"Daddy's taking us to the park this weekend." Finn reminded his brother, as far as he could see…everything was fine. Although, he was confused…why didn't daddy and mommy talk as much as they used to?

TJ sighed, rolling over onto his pillow. He'd have to fix this on his own.

That night, he waited until he was sure his mom and Finn were both good and well asleep. He knew his dad would still be up, he was usually up reading, or watching TV until late, late at night.

When he was sure all was clear, he slipped out of his room, and walked quietly into the living room. All was as planned, his dad was watching the news, but heard him coming, and spotted him before TJ could say anything.

"Toby Jack, what are you doing up at this kind of hour?" Trevor asked, quickly changing the channel from the news to some infomercial for the miracle blender.

God, he loved those boys so much. He hoped they didn't realize how messed up everything had gotten, how terrible he'd been…but he knew, deep down, he knew they both did. It doesn't matter, the kids always hear it.

He had been in the system for too long to deny that. Kids always heard.

TJ shrugged, "Couldn't sleep. Can I watch TV with you?"

Trevor was about to take him back to his bedroom, it was so far past the time he should be up, but…

"Okay." Trevor smiled, and gestured to the couch. "But only for a little while. You know how mad your mom would be if she knew you were up so late?"

TJ shrugged.

Trevor flipped channels until he found one of those shows where people sent in the funny videos. The last thing he wanted was for TJ to be seeing the news, seeing everything that went on over there.

"What's going on?" Trevor asked him, once they were settled in. "Did you have a nightmare?"

TJ shook his head. "I just can't sleep."

Trevor sighed, "Me either."

"Is it because you and mom are angry at each other?" TJ asked.

Trevor was shocked for a moment. "I'm not angry with her, and I don't want you to think that for a minute. I love her very, very much." She means more to me than life itself. "And I love you and Finn, very, very, very much."

"If you aren't angry, why do you fight?"

"TJ…" Trevor sighed, he didn't know. Why did they fight? It was so stupid, and it was all his fault. They fought because he was scared, they fought because he didn't know what to do, they fought because fighting was easier than the truth. "Its complicated."

"Are you going to get a divorce?"

"No!" Trevor's reply was vehement. "I know things are confusing right now, but we love you and Finn. I love you, and your mom loves you. And I love your mom…but sometimes adults do stupid things and it takes us awhile to fix them."

"Just say sorry." TJ advised him, "Mom likes that."

"I know." Trevor sighed. He was so far behind sorry, he was so far behind sorry and flowers. He hurt her, he knew he had, and it killed him because he didn't mean it. He didn't mean a single word he'd said that night, but he didn't know how to fix it. All he knew was, he couldn't lose her, he couldn't lose the boys. But he didn't know how to deal with any of this.

"C'mon." He told TJ, switching off the TV. "Its time for you to go back to bed."

"Okay." TJ frowned, he hadn't fixed anything at all.

"I'll tuck you in," Trevor told him, "And in the morning, you and Finn and I have a date with a baseball and a bat."

TJ nodded his head. "Okay."

Maybe his mom would come, maybe after tonight everything would be better. Maybe Katie and Lucas were right, or maybe…not.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Other Shoe**

**--3--**

He was being interviewed by Charlotte a.m., the local--off post--daily morning show. He didn't want to do it, he didn't want to do any of them. But as the public affairs officer had so clearly informed him, he didn't have an option otherwise.

He hated the publicity, he hated all these cameras being shoved into his life, he hated how closed off he felt to every single person he came into contact with, he hated that damn question that every single person seemed to insist on asking him; and most of all, he hated himself. He hated what he was becoming just because he had all this rage and confusion piling up inside him. He was furious at himself for taking it out on Roxy, for letting all the anger and frustration make him say those things to her. He was pissed at himself for hurting her, the most important thing in his life. It was something that he knew, that much he could be certain of, even if he knew nothing else, he knew that--but that somehow, he just forgot along the way.

There were no microphones being shoved in his face this time, no crowds of people standing around waiting. Just this blonde woman, and a camera crew, the public affairs officer, and his guilt. But that was enough to fill the room a few times over. It was similar to a few other shows he'd done except for one thing, Roxy wasn't there.

"_Then maybe you're right!" Trevor yelled, not caring, not caring at all. _

"_Trevor, what--what are you saying?" Roxy asked._

"_Maybe we didn't know each other at all. Maybe this was all a big mistake. Maybe we don't really know each other at all." Roxy not being there…he couldn't picture a life like that. He didn't want to._

He still could feel it when he bumped into her on his way out the door, still heard the clanging of the screen door echoing in his head. He heard the words echoing over and over and over in his mind.

"So tell us Specialist, what is it like to be a hero? What was going through your mind when you made the decision to save all those people?"

Did I lie to my family when I promised them I was coming home?

"Ma'am I'm not the hero. I'm not a hero at all. I was just doing my job. But the men in the unit, my unit, all the units, all the men serving, and women, they're the heroes."

"So, your heroes are you comrades. Your unit?"

Trevor nodded his head. "Yes, but its not just them. I mean, yes, they're heroes, heroes to all of us. Any of them would have done the same thing I did, its just what we are trained to do."

"I'm sorry specialist but I'm feeling a bit confused, are you saying they are your heroes?"

"Yes, ma'am, but they aren't the only heroes. You see, my hero its my wife. And I forgot that. I think we all forget about out families in one way or another once we're deployed. We go from one family; our wives, our children, to the family that our unit is. Now my wife, all of our wives, they're the ones who deserve some kind of recognition, some award. We couldn't get through what it is we do without them."

"Right, but specialist if we could direct the interview back to yourself…" She motioned towards him, attempting to put the interview back on track.

"See, ma'am, if I may. That is what you're missing. That's what its all about. If I'm a hero, if all this is so…its because of her, and my kids. Anything, everything I do, its for them. I was scared as any person in their right mind would be when I made the decision to shoot…but for them…I did it for them. My wife, not me, is the bravest person I know, and I was just trying to do the right thing."

Trevor pulled off his microphones, and tossed it onto the table. "I'm sorry, but I have to go."

"But, where? We're um-we're still in the middle of an interview." She leaned in closer, whispering. "Specialist, we're live." "I'm sorry." Trevor told her, and he was. "But, turns out…I have to go and do the right thing."


	4. Chapter 4

**The Other Shoe**

**-4-**

"No. No. No!"

Roxy rubbed her temples, unsure if she wanted a stiff drink, or aspirin, more. She couldn't handle this right now, she didn't want to. Her marriage was in shambles, The Hump wasn't far behind, she had delivery people coming in three days with tables, and chairs, and a bar, and the people weren't anywhere near schedule, and her kids were trying to play with construction materials. Nice. Just Great.

"TJ! Finn! Get away from all that stuff or so help me, I promise you won't see the light of day for a week." Roxy took a breath, wondering if maybe she should take Claudia Joy up on that suggestion of meditation or whatever it was that kept her so calm and relaxed when everything was falling to pieces.

"You," She turned to her head man, or for man…whatever the hell he was called. "You, can't do this to me. I have delivery people coming in three days. Do you--do you comprehend that? Three days and I have people coming to put in a bar, and tables and you need to be done. We have a contract, you were supposed to be finished today."

"Listen ma'am, I'm very sorry, but we had to wait on some materials to come in from Charleston, and they didn't get here until this morning. I've got my guys putting in overtime to try and get the job done, but we can't get this done in three days. Its going to take at least a week."

"Oh, oh…damn it all to hell! What am I paying y'all for then, damn it. I--"

"Um, ma'am," One of the workers interrupted her.

"What? Don't you have some wall or something to be taking care of?"

She was not dealing well, and she knew it. She and Trevor had barely spoken in three days, he wouldn't come into the bedroom. The boys had been more difficult than usual, and she was wishing something fierce that she had taken Pamela up on her offer to watch them while she dealt with this colossal mess.

"Well, yes ma'am, but I just thought you should know those little boys of yours just went running out that door there a moment or so ago. There's some really nasty traffic out there and--"

"Oh my god." Roxy felt her heart skip a beat, and she dropped her bag to the ground, running to the door, after her boys.

They knew better than that, she had told them to just stay. The road outside the Hump was a busy one and they could easily be hit by a car, kidnapped, or hurt, or-or-a million terrifying situations ran through her mind.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Other Shoe**

**-5-**

He hadn't planned what he was going to say to her when he had pulled up in front of the bar.

'I'm sorry' didn't really seem to suffice, and this was one of those times that was above and beyond flowers.

But as soon as he stepped out of his car…every little thought on how to fix it just vanished from his mind at the look on her face, This wasn't even her scared face, it was…I'm terrified.She didn't even need to say, it was like instinct…he could see the fear in her eyes. The boys.

In that one moment everything slipped away.

"Trevor. The boys are gone." She was just going on autopilot. Her children were missing.

Nothing scared him as much as those four little words. He wondered if this was why, the reason some army guys said when you're a parent…any horror of war time is overshadowed by being a parent.

"The back." Trevor said, quickly thinking of anywhere. There were so many possibilities, so many things that could happen… "I'll check in the back, TJ was telling me the other day about a pond or a creek or something."

"Trevor they just ran out the door."

Trevor nodded his head, "Check up there," He told her, gesturing down by the road. "I'll go down by that creek…we'll find them Rox."

He took off for the back, blaming himself. He'd put so much on her to deal with, he shouldn't have. None of it was her fault…

"TJ! Finn!" He called out. There was a hill leading down to the creek and it was sloped just slightly enough for him to be scared shitless that they could have stumbled, or fallen, slipping into the creek, or hitting their heads…

He made it down the slope easily enough, just praying to god to find them. Nothing he'd ever came across in life scared him as much as the boys just going missing like this.

Finn was just learning how to swim before he was deployed. That right there, it was his foremost thought. After all, in a creek there was just enough water for any one to drown, especially a kid.I should have taught him before I left.

A million and one terrifying possibilities ran through his mind, and then…there they were. Wading in the water, TJ holding a frog and trying to pass it off to Finn.

"Boys!" Trevor ran down to them, and the feeling….it was like, standing in the middle of a fire fight…and a mortar hits just to the left of you. "Get--get out of there now."

Trevor didn't wait for Finn to move, grabbing him up around the waist with his good arm.

TJ quickly dropped the frog and stepped out of the water.

"Roxy!" He hollered, unsure of if she could hear.

His heart beat was just starting to return to normal. "Back on up there." He ordered them, pointing up the grassy slope. He stayed a pace or two behind them, the fear of one of them slipping down the hill still fresh in his mind.

TJ knew they were in trouble. If mom had called dad they were in so much trouble. He was sure that they could go and be back before mom even noticed…

Roxy had heard, when they made it up the slope she was standing there. TJ was surprised to see her looking like she was going to cry, and then she pulled him close, hugging him. Maybe they weren't in trouble.After a moment she let go of him, wiping away the frightened and relieved tears away, and checked over Finn too.

"Are you boys okay? What were you doing? Are you hurt?"

"They're okay." Trevor told her quietly, "They were wading down in the creek."

"My shoes are wet." Finn said.

Roxy brought her hand up to her face, covering her mouth unsure if she was going to laugh or cry.

"What--boys, what in the world were you thinking?" Trevor asked them, he was so relieved that they were okay…he couldn't even bring himself to yell at them for what they'd done. "You had us scared to death. Toby Jack, Finn….you both know better than to just go off like that. You just walked out of there without telling your mom where you were going-do you know how scared she was? Its not safe to just be wandering around out here…and TJ, when you told me about the creek….didn't I tell you, under no circumstances were you to be going down around there alone? It's just too dangerous."

"Yes sir." TJ hung his head guiltily. "Are we going to be in trouble?"

"Daddy, mommy we're really sorry." Finn said. Sorry made everything better, and how bad could things be; after all, mommy and daddy weren't even fighting.

Trevor sighed, glancing at Roxy, and then back down to them. When she didn't say anything, he took head.

"No. You're not in trouble." Trevor told them, "But boys, I want you to promise your mom and me that you aren't ever going to do anything like that again, okay?"

They both nodded their heads. TJ was relieved to hear the phrase 'mom and me', and to see them together…that was good.

"Well, c'mon." Roxy told them.

The boys ran up ahead towards the bar and Roxy and Trevor followed closely, neither one quite prepared to let the boys too far out of sight after the scare they'd had.


	6. Chapter 6

**The Other Shoe**

**-6-**

At first, when he'd been driving from the TV station to the bar, he'd had it all planned out in his head what he was going to say. He was going to tell her how sorry he was, how he didn't mean a word of any of it, how he needed her to pleasepleaseplease forgive him.

And now he stood here, facing her, in the middle of everything, surrounded by the construction crew, and their boys...suddenly it had all gone to hell. He was faced with the most terrifying prospect of his life, he could very, quite possibly, lose his family.

Roxy was tired of fighting. She was damn sick and tired of fighting with her husband. She loved him, she did, but she didn't know how much longer she could take the fighting, and the silence. The silence was worse, because it felt like indifference--like he didn't even care about her, or them anymore. Like he wasn't in love with her the way he had been before he deployed. At least when they fought it was something, fighting meant that they could still work out whatever was wrong. Silence meant that he was giving up, and that it was over, and that killed her; it ripped her heart into pieces because she loved him just as much now as she did before he deployed, and it just hurt so bad to think he might not feel that same way anymore.

Trevor stood their in silence, still facing her, still unsure of what to say. The only sound was the din of tools and the work of the construction crew; even the boys, for one rare moment were quiet.

Finally she snapped, unable to take the silence any longer. "Trevor, I--I can't take this anymore. I just can't."

"Roxy." Trevor stopped her, he knew hat he had started, but he wouldn't let her finish it. He didn't care what it took, but he wasn't going to lose her.

"I'm done fighting, and this not fighting." She pushed herself to go on, make it easy for both of them. She couldn't listen to him say again that he wasn't in love with her. "You were right." She finished simply, trying, trying so hard not to cry. "Maybe we really don't know each other at all."

She started to walk away-feeling herself losing the battle with herself to not cry-but he stopped her. There wasn't going to be any more walking away. He was going to fix everything that he had managed to so massively screw up. He had to. He didn't see another alternative, because he loved her.

"You don't mean that, Rox, I know you don't."

"Didn't you?" She countered. "You said it first Trevor, I'm just trying to make this easier."

"No! God, Rox, do you really think I could ever mean those things? I love you." Trevor paused, taking a deep breath. If she still talked away, he didn't know what he was going to do.

She didn't want it to be over. The last thing in the world she ever wanted was to have to lose him, and so she listened. All she wanted was the man she married back.

Roxy nodded her head, listening. "I love you Trevor, so much…that sometimes, sometimes it actually hurts. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you." Roxy paused, looking at him, But when you walked out that door, told me that everything we have was just a mistake…you broke my heart."

He didn't think it was possible, but his guilt actually multiplied. He had hurt her so much, made so many mistakes since he came back…

"I hurt you," He whispered, hand trailing across her cheek, wiping away the tears that fell. "And I don't even deserve for you to forgive me, but I'm begging you Rox, because you are everything to me. You and the boys are my entire life, and I can't lose you. You have to believe…I didn't mean a single thing I said…marrying you was the singularly best thing I've done in my entire life. I mean what I told you when I asked you to marry me--we're soul mates, Rox."

Roxy nodded her head, accepting, and thinking about everything that had been said.

"Are you going to take that appointment to talk to Roland?"

"No." He responded flatly. "I'm not."

"Trevor…" Roxy sighed, if he didn't talk, work out whatever frustrations he had…how could they ever make everything right.

"I'm going to talk to you. My wife." Trevor looked at her. "You're right baby, things need to be said, and we should talk….but I need you to understand there are some things…I just can't tell you. Some things…I don't want you to have to know; and I need you to be okay with that." He understood that he couldn't protect her from all the possibilities that war brought, but he had to at least try.

"Okay then soldier, I'm all yours." Roxy smiled playfully, puling him close. This she could understand, she could accept.

She whispered in his ear, the words "I love you." quietly, only he heard but that was all that mattered. They were all that mattered.

Trevor leaned in, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her slowly all the while unable to believe…it had been over a week since he'd done so much as feel the sensation of her lips on his.

"No matter what," He promised her. "I love you Rox. Forever."

TJ grinned happily to see his parents look so blissfully happy and in love again, and just maybe…there could be a bonus.

--

"Maybe they'll forget about punishing us for going down to the creek." TJ said quietly to Finn.

--

"What time are you going to be done here around?" Trevor asked her.

"At this rate…I have no idea. The contractors are a week behind schedule…all the furniture is coming Thursday, and they're not going to be done in time."

"Is there anything I can do?" Trevor asked, then answered the question for himself. "I'll get the boys back home so they're not in you hair…anything else?"

"I'll be home soon, and I'm going to stop and ask her to watch the boys and we can…" Roxy's voice trailed off, a smile across her face. "Talk."

Trevor returned the look, grinning. "Talk." He echoed, kissing her on the cheek quickly.

Trevor whistled sharply. "TJ, Finn, front and center boys."

They made it over in record time.

"Lets go boys, we'll stop and get some ice cream--"

The boys cut him off with yells of excitement, but it quickly tapered off as the realized he wasn't finished.

"And we're going to have a nice long talk about why you don't ever go down to that creek without an adult, okay?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good boys," Trevor nodded his head approvingly, and turned to Roxy.

"You're spoiling them." She noted in half seriousness.

"Crazy." Trevor said, kissing her quickly on the cheek. "You can't spoil good kids, Rox."

Trevor smiled, and Roxy couldn't help but to think everything was going to be okay. That they were back to being them, because right now, with Trevor and her boys…she felt safe, and nothing could ruin that.

Roxy pulled him close, and kissed him once more. "I love you."

"Baby, I love you…so much." Trevor wrapped his arms around her tightly, hugging her. "I am so sorry, Rox."

"Don't." She told him. "Just promise me, that this won't ever happen ever again. That we'll always talk."

"I promise." He kissed her, then let go reluctantly, recognizing however he had to do it if they were ever going to leave.

"Okay, boys…" Trevor clapped his hands together. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah!" They cheered together.

Trevor opened the door, and the boys rushed out, stopping by the car, and waiting.

"Be careful." Roxy called after them, turning to Trevor. "That goes for you too."

"Always."

As he walked to the care swore to himself he would never do anything, anything, to risk losing all he ever wanted--and had. A beautiful wife, two perfect little boys. Life was perfect. But even their perfect little life had its flaws, but they'd get past it. They'd talk, and sometimes they'd fight…but they'd always love each other. That's what being soul mates meant, after all. That no matter what happened; they were destined to be together.


End file.
